Wednesday, December 26, 2007


I am just a big kid, and yesterday, I hit the jackpot. Between what Santa brought and our three holiday stops, I( I mean my kids), got lots of cool stuff for me to play with.

Why just yesterday alone, I made the finest Mr. Potato head you can make with the provided googly eyes, derby, and nose/moustache combo. My parents would be so proud to see just how far I've come in tater-face creativity.

I subsequently proved my Rock-em Sock-em Robot supremacy to both my kids, and I look forward to todays re-match. I don't look at it as beating up on a 4 yr old. I prefer to think of it as "quality time".

The three Nerf dart guns have not seen any action just yet, but rest assured, I have been plotting a suction cup dart ambush on my little elves since early this morning. My Marine training coupled with my basic Ninja skills, will have these two beggin for mercy the next time they get near the fake tree by the bathroom. (I'm trusting you not to divulge this tactical info. 10-4?)

I will also be safety testing skateboards and remote control spiders. All Play-doh will evaluated for color, consistency, and overall squishability. Nintendo games will be pre-screened for content (until I get Mario past that big mushroom lookin thing.) The Spiderman web-blaster will be calibrated for true accuracy, and matchbox cars will undergo rigorous on-track testing before DJ smashes them together in one of his famous 56 car pile-ups. It's for their own good. It's just good parenting.

Well that's it for now. I still hours of assembly, battery placement, and twisty package wire removal ahead of me before I see what else I, I mean they, get to play with next.


Anonymous said...

I've always wondered who the hell puts those f ing wires in toy boxes. Theres probably one pissed off Chinaman at the end of the assembly line, twisting , and twisting.