Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Does That Come With Tentacles?

There's nothing to eat around here.
Nothing good anyway.

And since I'm all out of bacon, I'll have to improvise.

I need something different, something fresh.

The problem is that there will never be anything new to eat.....EVER.

Kinda sad.

Somebody on this planet has caught, picked, speared, trapped, shot, grown, hooked, and clubbed everything there is to eat.

Then they baked, deep fried, basted, char-broiled, nuked, barbecued, blackened, double-boiled, steamed, or swallowed it whole.

It seemed that our last hope was that those doofus t.v."survivalists" would find some new species of delicious aardvark in the rain forest or at least some Antarctic caterpillar that would liven up the taste buds.
But no.
Everything they've found is either disgusting, poisonous, or tastes like chicken.
I've tried chicken. It tasted like chicken.
That's not new.

I think that's why NASA gets so much funding. They're searching for intelligent life in other galaxies,

-so we can eat them.

Oh sure, they say they're conducting valuable experiments which will further advance mankind.

I say they're lookin for food.

So until they fricasee a giant squid or saute up some bigfoot,

This is it folks. Dig in.


Monday, August 11, 2008

The Prize Patrol Cometh!

This blog has been called many things.

Most of which will get you duct taped to an angry pelican and made to listen to David Hasselhoffs newest c.d. until your ears bleed.

But of all the things you could possibly think of,
...award winner

must now be one of them.

For pee your pants funny and original material, I now own THIS bad boy.

A special thank you to my friend chatblanc over at Wit's Bitch for presenting me with my first blog award ever! Oh sure, lots of blogs have been given this prestigious little trophy, but eff off this one is mine.

And if that weren't enough, Meg over at Prefers Her Fantasy Life, informs me that I won something over there too! She held a caption contest and even though I didn't win the Ed McMahon super ultra cash extravaganza prize, my entry made her laugh.

Strange, I thought.

It's kinda weird to get a prize for not winning, I thought.

Making someone laugh is prize enough, I thought.

I thought wrong.

Thanks Meg!

Let's make it 3 for 3 ---------------> click and vote with a smiley!