In keeping with our long standing tradition as the "freak show state", Florida has once again not let me down. We are still the home of the "worlds ugliest dog" champion.
This is Gus. Grand champion of all that is ugly in the canine world.
Gus' main strengths in this category included;He only has one eye.
He only has three legs.
He is practically hairless.
He has skin cancer.
His right ear is mangled.
There was, of course, controversy. This is the newly de-throned past champion, Sam.
(Judges huddle)
Well Sam is ugly. He's got that crazy tongue thing goin on. He's balding pretty well and shakes a lot.
Yeah, but he's only partially blind. And he has all four legs. Those are major points deductions.
And don't forget about Gus' chewed up ear and skin problems.
We have a new champ!
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