Sunday, June 22, 2008

Ugly Is Only Skin Deep


In keeping with our long standing tradition as the "freak show state", Florida has once again not let me down. We are still the home of the "worlds ugliest dog" champion.

This is Gus. Grand champion of all that is ugly in the canine world.





Gus' main strengths in this category included;


He only has one eye.
He only has three legs.
He is practically hairless.
He has skin cancer.
His right ear is mangled.






There was, of course, controversy. This is the newly de-throned past champion, Sam.

(Judges huddle)

Well Sam is ugly. He's got that crazy tongue thing goin on. He's balding pretty well and shakes a lot.

Yeah, but he's only partially blind. And he has all four legs. Those are major points deductions.

And don't forget about Gus' chewed up ear and skin problems.

We have a new champ!


More funny stuff at humor-blogs.

24 comments:

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

When is somebody going to submit Snoop Dogg into that contest?!!!?

Sunshine said...

I had to read this twice... i thought maybe it was my pain pills playing tricks on me... WOW!!!!

Alice said...

Why would you own something so creepy? I lean over to pet my dog and then draw my hand back in fear lest I touch that bristly skin. Ewww....

leigh said...

i think it was the stumpy left rear hindquarter that gave gus the edge. so i guess people in florida celebrate their dog's freakishness. in texas, we just put 'em down.

plus i noticed you're back on the front page. woo hoo! nicely done.

Tracy said...

Do you think those dogs might have been victims of incest?
I wonder what they looked like as puppies? Cause honestly, if they looked anything like they do now, I would have moved on to the next dogs.
Congrats to you and Florida.

leigh said...

tracy, you are a sick puppy, no pun intended.

Charlene said...

It's like those really ugly people you never expect to get married, when out of nowhere, there's an invite in the mail. You go, and big suprize, the bride/groom is just as hideous. My point here? I wonder what the owners look like. Think fido commercials.

BTW - the tide swap is a great idea. I'm thinking I might mix some dye in with the liquid kind (less wreakage, just as much annoyance).

Bex said...

Holy moly. Those ARE ugly dogs. In fact I think it could be argued that they are fugly. But I have to say it - the reigning champ is uglier, four legs and all. Every picture I've ever seen of him looks like someone just smacked him in the head with a shovel. And I personally think that should garner double points.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Awwww, so ugly they're cute. Poor things.

VE said...

But do they look like their owners?

Deb said...

I don't know if our state really won that contest or if we rigged it so we could say we won, because the old champ might just be the Al Gore of the Ugly Dog world.

April said...

ummmm that is almost as ugly as the freak on nature picture I put on my "lock the doors and get a dog" post! ew

Pappy McSlappy said...

Haaa! I saw a clip about this in the paper. What I can't get over is what a cruel act by the owners that was. I can see the situation a little like this:
"Oh, here you are dog. I smashed your leg while you were little, so we had to amputate it. I accidentally dropped a hot cup of coffee in your eye; you're lucky you don't wear a patch. Ohhhh, I almost forgot, you're hairline is receding, your ear got gnawed off because even other dogs think you're disgusting, AND you have cancer. I am going to place you in a contest where a lot of weird people will touch you, take pictures and laugh at your pathetic existence. Hope you don't mind."

Diesel said...

Still can't touch this guy: http://www.samugliestdog.com/

THopgood said...

So what does he get for winning? A Leg prosthesis? A new eye ball? A total makeover? Or maybe a visit from Stacey and Clinton.

Sully Sullivan said...

He's an ugly son of a bitch but honestly, you can't beat his personality. The goatee is classy too.

Sarah♥ said...

Disgusting.

Put it down.

End the poor dog's misery. haha.

Drowsey Monkey said...

oh my goodness .... I always feel sad when they call them ugly though!

Shieldmaiden96 said...

If he hiked his leg he'd fall over. So how does he pee? Does he just sort of lean?

leigh said...

awwwwww. gus died. doggie cancer. sad.

p.s. when are you going to start blogging again?

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Gabby said...

you can cure your dogs like what I did. they're disgusting and looks like a stinky one. There are lots of things to be thankful for but i guess none of them is my dog that has a lot of dog skin problems. I don't want to sound bitter but it is something i can't hardly be proud of. My family knows that I love my dog very much, they really wanted me to help on this we do a lot of treatments, but then, all of them costs me too much money, until they discuss me about the dog skin solutions created by Linda Kajda that helps me a lot to treat my dog skin problems, I really work on hard just do get over it.
love your blog =) thanks for sharing

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