CUERVO COOKIES

My sisters recipe for the best Christmas cookies ever.

1 cup of water - - - - - - - lemon juice
1 tsp. baking soda - - - - -4 large eggs
1 cup of sugar - - - - - - - 1 cup of nuts
1 tsp. salt - - - - - - - - - - 2 cups of dried fruit
1 cup of brown sugar - - - 1 large bottle of Jose' Cuervo

Sample the Cuervo to check for quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup, and drink. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar, beat again.
At this point, it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, so try another cup.... just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the friggin fruit off the floor... mix on the turner. If fried druit get stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or somthing. Who giveshz a sheet.
Sheck the Jose' Cuervo.
Now, shift the lemon joose and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoonof sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, den finish the Cose' Juervo and make sure to put the shtove in the dishwasher.