Friday, July 11, 2008

This is how we do it

Keepin it simple. Keepin me sane.
Rock Solid Household advice.
Time saving tips.
Words to live by.

In my kingdom, the only breakfast question is, "Do you want your Pebbles -Fruity or Cocoa?"
Simplicity- at it's finest.

If it's growing in the yard, and it's green, it stays.
If it's growing in the 'fridge, and it's green, it goes.

The spaghetti is done when all the boiling water is gone.
No need for pesky timers.

The pork chops are done when the smoke detector goes off.
Once again, no pesky timer.

In the case where dinner is not pork or pasta,
dinner is ready when the first kid says, "Oh man, not Helper again."

Clean the kids rooms with a rake.
What you get is laundry, what you miss is garbage.

Whites go in hot, colors go in cold. That's it.
All them other knobs and settings don't do anything.

When the kids are good, take them for ice-cream.
When they're bad, take them to Home Depot.

Buy a Swiffer-Vac for the wood floors.
Just do it. It's awesome.

Entertaining the little nose-pickers doesn't need to be expensive.
Just last night we played a rousing game of "find the smell."
Fun, free, ...and necessary. (Believe me.)


Click this and vote. Remember to jam your cursor down the throat of the big smiley!


THopgood said...

I'm think'n these are good enough to print and hang on my frig!

Thanks for the laugh!

Alice said...

Please. I don't even separate the laundry anymore. It all gets dumped into cold water and I go from there.

leigh said...

we had a rousing rendition of find the smell at our house the other night. turned out it was emanating from my son's shoes.

fun? certainly not. but necessary. definately necessary.

Anonymous said...

You can separate laundry?

I just burn it and buy new burlap sacks for the kids.

damon said...

thopgood- I am, if nothing else, here to help!

alice- I guess you're right. Whites and darks can live together in perfect harmony.

leigh- Our stink turned out to be a peach. Or that's what we think it used to be.

sinister dan- Have you seen the price of burlap these days? Maybe the folks at Hefty will start a line of clothing.

Brent Diggs said...

"find the smell" - it's all about utilizing your resources.

Bee said...

Damon, you've written a lot of posts that made me laugh but this one... it's almost midnight and I just woke up the whole house with my laughter!! I wish I could vote for you twice on this!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Very nice. Almost noirish. My favorite is the one about the rake. Great post!

VE said...

Three words: Mac and Cheese

It simplifies all meals forever on...

Trooper Thorn said...

When the kids are not fighting, let them keep doing whatever they are doing as long as possible.
When they fight, give them chores.

davey said...

Never again shall I plant my begonias in the crisper drawer. You are a life saver my friend.

ShannanB said...

Love it. We all played - make fart sounds in your elbow - the other night. Now that is a fun, free game!!!!

Jeff said...

Sage advice Damon. So what was the mystery smell?

Don said...

Damon: you are my hero! Why didn't you post these things five years ago?

I'm printing this and hangin' it on the fridge!

damon said...

nanny goats- You gotta rake kid, saves the back muscles.

VE- Easy-Mac, orange, microwavable, sunshine in a box.

trooper- not fighting? That happens?

davey- See? good advice AND gardening tips. Glad I could help.

Shannan- I never learned how to do that. Maybe a "how to" post is in order.

Jeff- At first we thought it was a rotted peach. But what we found could have been anything. Even though we threw it out, it still smells by the fridge. More fun for Fridays' game!

Don- When Oprah fails you, who can you count on?

davey said...

Certainly not Dr Phil. That guy never returns my calls.

Julie in Houston said...

Great tips for any household. And timers are so 1950's. Just wait for that burnt smell. Works every time and ya never have to worry about salmonella or bacteria. :) Your too funny! I'm adding you to my blogroll.