Monday, July 7, 2008

How do you train to eat wieners?

Jammin wieners down your throat is not only a sport, it's a competition.
..and it makes mama so proud.
Billed as "The Rematch II - this time it's personal," because, let's face it, what's more personal than a guy who can swallow more weenie than you.

Apparently ESPN could find no other sport worthy of airtime ( I guess there was no spelling bee or cheerleading competition goin on) and decided that the gluttony on Coney Island should draw those high ratings they've been dreamin of.

These 2 skinny dudes both managed to cram 55 (that's fifty freakin five) tube shaped whoknowswhatsintheres down their gullets in 10 minutes. Forcing a 5 dog frank-off.

...And we have a winner, Joey Chestnut.
Better at eatin wienies than any fat guy in our country.
Better than any woman, at crammin meat in - and swallowin it down.
He defeated his arch nemesis Kobayachi, who blames an arthritic jaw for his downfall. (I thought getting 'turf-toe' in football was weird, but this just proves that EVERY sport has its injuries!)
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Just a bit of advice, from one dog to another, Joey. You may not want to make your accomplishments known on say, a trip to Key West or San Francisco. You would get a waaay different reception than you're expecting.
And if you're ever incarcerated, put the hush-hush on the gobblin skills.
'cause no one likes a bragger.
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22 comments:

leigh said...

a guy can eat the most weiners? that's not ironic.

i'm clicking for you! please click for me too!!!!

April said...

all I got to say is...ewwww

The Hypocritical One said...

I can't even imagine the hurl-fest that goes on in the restroom's after the competition.

I've never seen a toilet clogged with hot dog goo, but I'm sure it happens.

Sully Sullivan said...

Nothing gets worse than this bullshit. I don't understand why ESPN would air two grown men shoving hot dogs soaked in water down their throats. How is there an audience for this?

Drowsey Monkey said...

Oh god ... just thinking about those contests make me gag. I so don't understand .... I mean why? Why?

Alice said...

Where is ESPN 8 'The Ocho' when you need it?

The Nemesing One said...

I hate soggy bread. What makes me gag about this is the dipping it into the water part. Makes me want to throw up just thinking about it. Great blog, keep up the good work.

Rickey Henderson said...

You know how Rickey knows this guy is gay? Because he jams phallic shaped meat down his throat.

Captain Mary said...

Whats next, sex competition, with the double twisting dismount? Can't wait to see that.

VE said...

Boy, I hope his home has more than one bathroom after these competitions...

Bee said...

Speaking of mindless tv, I saw how Kobayachi trained for a contest and all I can say is blech!

I'm going to vote for this post just because you said "Jammin wieners down your throat is not only a sport, it's a competition.
..and it makes mama so proud."

made me laugh!

Bee said...

I tried to vote for you but I got this message "Ok, we get it. You like TRY TO KEEP UP. Why don't you try rating something else now?"
????

damon said...

Bee- You're now the third person to tell me this. I guess I'll ask the diesel what's goin on.

April said...

finally got my blog feed corrected for humor blog. after all my panicing...it was quite simple...derrrrr..Im not a blonde...really...well maybe a little..hehe

Always Home and Uncool said...

Nice weiner ... post.

Jeff said...

But don't these people worry about all the nitrates? How irresponsible. Sheesh.

Meg said...

I think the whole thing is a ploy put together by Oscar Meyer. And now I'm off to click for you.

Kat said...

Yeah never got the whole weiner eating contest thing, it's so sick to watch -insert gagging sound.....AND thanks for giving my hometown boyz a congrats!
Go Red Wings!

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

You are what you eat....and Joey LOOKS like a weenie to me.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

Talk radio around here plays a super funny clip of Obama finishing up a speech and declaring in a serious voice, "And now I'm going to have a hot dog."

I hope Obama wolfs down some Hebrew National dogs because really, the irony would amuse me completely.

Tracy said...

I have to admit, I'm surprised the guy is American or caucasion (however you p.c. people want to put it) cause the last one I saw the guy who won was a twenty pound chinese man. So score one America!
I threw up after two hot dogs once so I know I would not do well in a competition so more power to them.
And this is just another reason why ESPN is stoopit.

davey said...

I want to know why it wasn't personal in the first place, and what went down to make it so.

How do you trash talk at a weiner eating comp?

a) calling someone a weiner is out
b) saying that someone eats shit is out
c) Calling someone a lard ass it out

Now I'm no sailor, but that doesn't leave you with very much insult ammo.