Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Youth Gone Wild?

Technology has ruined the youth of our country.
Yeah, I said it.
They are laaazzy.
They spend their time on-line or attached to a video game, instead of doing their duty - as kids.
Bein' laaazzy.

But Damon, how do you know this?
What makes you an expert on teenage culture?

Three observations. That's what.

#1. Driving through my neighborhood I came across this mailbox.
Pretty cool, I thought.
But then it, dawned on me...
In my day Mr. Gator here, would have lost his head via Louisville Slugger about 2 days after we noticed it.
Todays kids just don't take the time to see that the neck is the weak point, and a not so precise blow, right above the nostril, would easily send his head onto the neighbors porch.

#2. There are some sweet-ass oak trees all over my fair city.
Beggin, just beggin, for a T-P job.
But, no.
Todays youth would rather tease you into therapy or give you an on-line virus, than put forth an honest act of playful vandalism.
..and that's just sad, because wikipedia even has directions for exactly how it's done!

#3. There are entirely too many power lines around here without shoes hangin from them. I can recall spendin most of a summers morn, pinning little Mikey down, stealin his shoes, and tying the laces together for a flight up to telephone line heaven.

But those days are gone.

And all we are left with....

are the memories.

humor-blogs smacks heads off gators


VE said...

Hey, the shoes makes sense because they're all saving those shoes to sell to collectors on ebay years later!

Sunshine said...

I agree with you in a sense, but do the kids of today really know what it means to T-P something? And how about going outside and actually hanging out with friends instead of in their rooms texting? The shoe thing, I know in some cities the shoes on the power lines mean drugs are sold there??!!! Maybe not be every where but North east .. yes.

Drowsey Monkey said...

lol ... not sure the lack of child delinquency is a good measure of how lazy kids are/aren't.

Keli said...

No, no, no, Damon! Those days are not gone! You're just looking in all the wrong places. Why, in my 'hood, mailboxes get whacked in the head all the time, T-P jobs are as common as high-priced gas and shoes are hangin' around all over the place. I guess that means the youth around my parts are anything but lazy. Or they're very good at multi-tasking.

leigh said...

i have to agree with keli. maybe largo is just too classy. h-town is so full of oil field trash, TPing has never gone out of style.

Deb said...

I blame video games. They make them docile.

I'm counting on you to whack that gator. Show those kids how a man does it.

davey said...

And where are the parents in all of this? I'll tell you where they are. They're knocking off early to go home and spend quality time with their kids, growing em up right and all that.

Makes me sick.

Sully Sullivan said...

You just gave me a fantastic idea for a video game. I'll call it "Kid Olympics" and it will allow gamers to do all the things you listed plus dozens of other kid pastimes like kicking the shit out of smaller kids, frying ants under a magnifying glass, Nicky 9 Doors, etc.

That way they can have all the youthful joy of being outdoors without ever having to go outdoors.


Jeff said...

Funny - in a sad but true kind of way. :-)

Jonny's Mommy said...

Totally agreed.

What is with these lazy kids today?

Just as long as they leave my trees, my mailbox and my telephone lines alone...they're cool.

Touch my stuff and they won't be lazy anymore because they will be running from my bullets.

If I knew how to shoot -- or even hold a gun


This is the thing......in an economic downturn such as what we're facing, the cost of toilet paper, shoes, and baseball bats are just too exorbitant. If you really want to see more progress and an upgrade in vandalism technology you need to organize the neighborhood and have a fundraiser.


I may have to teach the neighborhood kids the dying art of Flaming Crap Bags on The Porch before its lost forever!!!

April said...

I miss those days myself.....sigh

what's a donzer said...

Yep. I'm totally on board. Elastic is so right about the flaming bags of crap, too. Also gone: the sweet, sexy dog days of the heavy breathing phone call. Well, screw you, caller ID, and the horse you rode in on!

Leeuna said...

Yeah, it's sad all this misspent youth of today. They've gotten away from the good vandalism acts. Although some of them still practice drive-bys and areson, it's still a dying art.

muskrat said...

damon, it's not too late for your to start a revolution. all you need is dark clothing, some cheap toilet paper, and a bat. c'mon!

in stuff still happens in my 'hood. the ghetto boys can't afford a wii, but they gots spray paint and crowbars, sho nuff.