Thursday, March 6, 2008

Almost a Genius...

Now that I am all compooter saavy,
I look back at how internetally illiterate I was in the infancy of my bloginess.
Thanks to all of you who have taught me the lingo of modern day e-communications, I am now much better off.

6 months ago I thought blog was the neanderthal with the bone in his lip that lives two huts down and over 1 cave. Now I know that a blog is a personal web-site where you can write out your feelings on different topics and where seemingly normal people, who usually hate being in traffic, become obsessed with being 'stumbled' or 'hit'. (Don't quote me on this.)

I had never heard the term entrecard before I mastred the intrenet. It sounds like something you'd swipe to get into the top-secret alien spacecraft lab. Best I can figure it's a worthless website giveaway. Given away to anyone who leaves you a comment, or writes the goofy caption for that picture you posted of your uncle sittin on Santas lap wearing nothin but a jockstrap and a pirate hat. (I could still be wrong on this one though.)

I used to think a web-host was some super intelligent geeky life form who sat in the darkness of anonimity. Like the bank offer guy on Deal or No Deal. His job was to make you feel like a jackass while he fixes your computer porn virus.
I now realize that a web-host is a super intelligent geeky company, which sits in the darkness of anonimity, and charges you ten bucks a month to come up with new and exciting ways to lose your postings and to keep track of how many times a google search for "gorilla pelican love" led to a hit on your site. ( I may be a tad off on this one too)

I'm still kinda in the dark about a meme. It's either what Arnold Horshacks little known sister yells out when she knows the answer, or some kind of chain letter you act like you didn't want, but secretly you enjoy being 'tagged' without being touched by some perv.

I still don't know what a blogroll is, or how to do it. The guy at the bakery didn't know and I haven't heard back from the National Lumberjack competition. So when I get the info, I'll add all of you.

For more stuff I can't do, click here. Or even better, click here.

Give it a second.
It'll come to you.

16 comments:

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I'm old enough to recognize a Welcome Back Kotter joke. That makes me sad. :(

leigh said...

is george w. busch the president of beer?

fortunato said...

A blogroll is a chocolate breakfast cake from Little Debbie.
Add one for me!!

Mr Lady said...

I am laughing so hard I cam crying right now. Consider yourself lurked!

.45 said...

"…your uncle sittin on Santas lap wearing nothin but a jockstrap and a pirate hat.…"

It's people like this that make being Santa such an undesirable career path.

kendalswife said...

Grrr...your captcha DID NOT want me leaving a comment.

Anyway, the entrecard thing is something I hadn't even heard of until this week.

But, what I really wanted to say is I'm kind of surprised you didn't cover the definition of "header".

Karen MEG said...

I like your definition of "blog" better ... sounds more exotic than what it actually is.
Too funny... I'm addicted to hits. You are so right!

Bloghoppin

confusedtwenty said...

I won't shy away in admitting I actual Wiki'd 'meme' only to be astonished it was actually on there. No longer, hip, cool, or young I guess...

My favorite thing to do with regards to the Internet is to sit back and just pretend its all magic. Medication not required.

Nick Phillips said...

LOL, I enjoyed that post. The first time I ever started blogging I though a meme was some kinda animal ... LOL!

Keli said...

You're two up on me - I still don't understand "entrecard" despite your detailed clarification, and even though I've participated in memes, I was hoping no one noticed my ignorance. I recently added "blogosphere" to my limited computer vocabulary.

Daniel said...

I loved the line with the two dead "here"s

Bee said...

Okay, I know somebody already quoted this but... "your uncle sittin on Santas lap wearing nothin but a jockstrap" is this in your archives?? ;o)

PG said...

your ignorance re: blogroll is comforting. I had been meaning to put you on mine. But since you don't know what it is, I don't feel bad I'd been slacking!

Miss Ann Thrope said...

I can help you with the blogroll thing. 'Cause my middle name is "blogroll me!"

Seriously, I've had so many blogs I can't remember them all. Some were good. Most sucked balls.

However, should you need help with a blogroll, I can definitely show you at least two ways to do it. And I can send you an invoice, so you have that "bill me later" option, so important this day and age...

just kidding, i'll help for free if you need it.

Miss Ann Thrope said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
VE said...

Good one. I did a similar type of post back in December.