Wednesday, January 9, 2008


Once in a while, when least expected, the karma gods will send you a little sign.
Just to show they have a sense of humor.
Today, karma god smiled on me.
Not a little grin. Not a small smirk.
I got the Cheshire cat - just ate a box of Crest whitening strips smile.
Read on, my karma retributional friends.
My pinhead, arrogant, self-indulgent, nothings ever good enough, bossman, decided to pay me a visit at my jobsite. As one might expect, he shows at the lunch hour, when rather than tending to our delegated tasks, we are eating.
He summons me from my convenient store cuisine with a somewhat demanding "my time is more valuable than yours" tone in his voice.
I comply, disparagingly. Still chewing.
He proceeds to the living room of the house, pissed about who knows what for who cares why.
When part way through his idiotic speech about lunch breaks, happened.
In front of about 6 carpenters, a painter, and a stone mason, happened.
I sneezed. I'm not talkin "achoo, scuse me" sneeze. This was a from the diaphragm, wall decorating, pull a muscle in your back, duck and cover, beauty of a sneeze, that only could be summoned by the gods of karma.
For as they would have it, the sneeze was accompanied by a small piece of lunch, which launched itself from my uvula and perched itself precisely between the eyes of my attacker.
...He didn't notice.
...We didn't tell him.
How could he not know? He looked like he had just been hit with a snowball.
Why didn't anyone say anything? Cause karma god had their tongue. That's why.
He finished his ramblings about nothing. And with big, white, chewed up, food morsel still holding, firmly centered on his uni-brow, in all its' hilariously gross glory, he sped off.
Thank you karma gods.
I needed that.


me said...

Glad the karma gods could brighten your day!

damonm55 said...

Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma (1,2,3,4,5, Ok) Chameeeleeeon.
You come and go.

Mike said...

I just love Karma (until she comes up and bites my butt).

Blog on.