Sunday, January 13, 2008


My son is turning 5 years old in a couple weeks.
I am his social coordinator.
I didn't apply for the gig, it was thrust upon me.
But where to go? What to do?

Well there's always Chuck E. Cheese.
150 amped up little brats, screaming for more tokens. The bells and sirens and bleeps and bloops. The teenager in the 5 foot rat suit scaring the crap out of little party goers, like Godzilla stomping through munchkinland. Oh, and the finest pizza shaped cardboard money can buy. OOOhh, sign me up.

There's mini-golf.
My son and his pre-school pals wielding clubs around like light sabers. Me,wading through the water traps for hours because little Jimmy with the wicked slice had to have the black ball. The eventual golf turned hockey game that breaks out because no one wants to wait their turn. And pullin kids down as they climb the rocks like fire ants in a flood. Pass on this one.

How 'bout bowling.
Yeah, here's a good idea. Trying to get these little tricycle motors to lift a ball half their body weight. Spending an hour tying up 22 tiny little shoes on 22 stinky little feet. Sending the 4 man mini-rescue posse to find Connor in the bathroom because it's his turn. Calling the attendant every 3rd frame because the ball is stuck half way down the lane. And let's not forget the impending trip to the alley game room, where I'll be pulling in chairs for boosting up these baby non-gamers who can't get Frogger across the road anyway. Head on- apply directly to the forehead. Pass again.

Maybe we'll just stay home.
Maybe, go to the park.
Maybe, I just won't tell him it's his birthday. He is only 5. Think he'll know?


Don said...

I feel for you! My sister was the queen of lavish birthday get-togethers for her kids. I got my son when he was about to celebrate his 12th birthday, so it was a sleep-over at 12, a backyard pool-party at 13, then laser tag at 14. At fifteen, he was happy with a nice dinner at a restaurant he likes. Finally, the birthday celebrations are making some sense. ;)

Clark said...

Maybe, I just won't tell him it's his birthday. He is only 5. Think he'll know?


If you guys have a Children's Museum in your town, I'd bet that that he'd LOVE it. Take a few of his buddies and another parent or two, and fun would be had by all! said...

"Maybe, I just won't tell him it's his birthday. He is only 5. Think he'll know?"

Like Clark said, a Children's Musem is a great place. Sometimes they even allow sleepovers. We have a couple of "Hands-On Musems" within a short driving distance. They are always cool.

BusyDad said...

Check. Check. Check. Right on. But not telling him it's his birthday is just plain mean! Just tell him his birthday is on Feb 29. That way you only have to endure this every 4 years. (thanks for visiting earlier - just checking out your blog and it is hilarious).

RaisinCookies said...

Ah, it sounds like our kids are similar ages; at almost five, my daughter has very definite plans on how her party should be and who should attend.

Luckily for me, half the guest list is made of imaginary "big kids" and "growing ups" with names such as Krina, Trina, and Mina.

I just might survive the party afterall! Best of luck to you....

damonm55 said...

Thank you all for the great suggestions! The museum sounds like a pretty good idea, I'll let you know. Oh by the way, I did tell him his b-day was coming, so there's no turning back now.