Tuesday, January 15, 2008


For whatever reason, my kids love the grocery store.
Maybe it's the slim chance daddy's lost his mind, and will fill the cart with Ding-Dongs and Twizzlers.
Perhaps it's the free cookie provided by the bakery lady with the hairnet.
Possibly it's each childs' notion that it's their turn to pick the Pop Tart flavor.
But as with all outings, we try to make our own fun.
With my daughter, the challenge is to get as many things into the basket without the old man spotting her. She is getting craftier as she gets older and uses package size and the little brother distraction technique like a seasoned veteran.

For my son, it's always some new way to attach himself to my wiggly-wheeled chariot without actually tipping it over. There's the 'side-cart hang and grab'. The 'front of the ship arch and perch'. The 'mine-cart simulator'. The 'don't let the catamaran tip over - lean and grasp'. And my favorite, 'the hood ornament'.

Each week we make our way through. Each of us selecting our weekly menu items. Trying to not crash into anything or annoy anyone too much. Keeping in mind that if it says anything but microwaveable, we could be in trouble.

The trip also begins with the knowledge that Daddy is a sucker for those toy vending machines at the exit. A ring. A compass. A glob of goo. That sticky stretchy hand thingy. Or do I dare, perchance to dream, that ever elusive mini-spy camera which has taunted me since my own upbringing.
We stare in wonderment at the possibilities of what the machines promise to spit out.
Clear little balls with multi-colored caps. Each filled with one of the potentially gratifying prizes displayed on the goodie filled glass jar.
But our hopes turned to skepticism.
For this is what we got.

Such joyful toys for the kiddies.
The gangsta, goateed, prison-hardened clown, legs crossed atop the 8 ball, scares the crap out of my 4 yr old.
And the poker chip will surely teach my 11 yr old the importance of hard earned money.
--The spy camera still eludes me.


Anonymous said...

The mini-spy camera eludes me.

I have never known anyone who got that thing!! Too funny!!!

tomfool said...

You have painted one hilarious picture in my mind. Your son hanging off the shopping cart in diffrent ways.
I'm glad blog catalog re-considered, we enjoy your tales of blissful agony!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your visit to Very Short Novels. I don't know if you found it, but I posted a story about taking little Magda to the grocery store, too. Is it rude to leave the link here? If so, by all means delete it. See you at BlogCatalog!

RaisinCookies said...

Your life sounds eerily like my own.

...have you been following me??!

Clark said...

Your blog catalog snafus forced me to try it as well. Ha! Ha!