Friday, April 18, 2008

Hold On To Your Nuts

Not to go too political on ya.
But I can't resist.

The Florida State Senate is voting on the "glands" bill. (Nice name 'eh?). I suppose now that health care and budgetary shortfalls are taken care of, it's on to the big important stuff.

I personally did not ever consider testicles as 'glands', but if that's what the gubment says, it must be so.

The law threatens to ban the lovely bumper ornament known as "truck nutz." You know, those lovely little hang-downs on the back of trucks that clearly indicate that not only is the truck a male, but it's owner was thoughtful enough display his inadequacies in 1 of 14 designer colors.

Call 'em "truck-nutz", call 'em "bumper-balls, call 'em "truckticles", call 'em "trunk-junk", it's testosterone runnin rampant - American style.

If they pass the "twins law"- anyone caught dangling these guys off their ride, will be fined $60.
To put that into perspective, there's already a law fining anyone caught taking cell phone pictures up womens skirts , $25. Which means boy parts are more than twice as offensive as girl parts. -Duh.

So basically, the gubment doesn't like people with balls.
If they catch you, they will have your balls removed - for $60.
I figure if they want to start legislating castration, they should start with the Catholic church.

18 comments:

Bee said...

Ha Ha Ha! That post was great, you insulted the gubment, women, men AND THE CATHOLIC CHURCH ALL IN ONE POST!!

I better go buy a pair of those for Andy's truck before they become Illegal here too!

THopgood said...

Oh that's too funny! I've never even seen this before...lol.

what's a donzer said...

Wow. These are amazing. I have been looking for ways to add a scrotum to my vehicle for years. Your post has made a dream come true. And, I've decided to remain a Georgia resident for life.

Diana said...

I knew there was a reason that Florida scared the crap out of me. But now I can't be certain whether it's the legislation or the fact that there's a market there for truck balls.

Meg said...

I wish the gubment up here in Ohio would ban those silly geese with the dresses in everybody's yard!

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

Florida wants your children to be exposed to pornography via library computers without safegaurds because that's protected free speech amendment rights but oh nooooeeesss if they see bumper balls hanging low.....that will poison their minds forever.

I like the blue ones. It lets me know in advance that I'm dealing with a frustrated driver full of pent-up anger and other stuff.

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Miss Anne Derstood said...

Something is wrong with your feed. I tried to add you to my brand spankin' new google reader, and couldn't.

This is making me cry and stamp my feet....

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I'm off the humor-blogs radar but still clicking for the funny(and nice) people.

That would be YOU!

leigh said...

i think i'd like some fake plastic boobies for my car. i just don't what would be the appropriate location to put them.

i'm clicking for you!!

VE said...

Does Lance Armstrong's pickup only have one hanging down?

Funny stuff there Damon!

Vic said...

Stuff the legislation. Can wemake the truck look like a penis?

April said...

30.00 dollars a nut...wow...

April said...

wait a minute did I read that right...15 different colors??? I'm guessing blue is not a popular color?

Alice said...

Would they look cool on my husband's mini-van?

damon said...

Sorry Alice, NOTHING LOOKS GOOD ON A MINI-VAN!!!

unfinishedperson said...

I live in the middle of the boondocks in Pennsylvania and I've never seen this, but it seems like it should be something I have seen. I'll have to let my wife know so she tells the whackers (and it's not what you think it means) down at the volunteer fire department. They'd love this.

Sheri said...

I think this is the funniest thing I've ever seen - truly!

Good on you for insulting everyone in the process ;o) especially the Catholic Church. I mean they really need to get it in the, "truck-nutz" to truly understand!

The Government gets it there all of the time, however, between you and me, I think they secretly like it!

Thanks for a very entertaining post!