Wednesday, February 13, 2008

That's What Friends Are For

I should be a millionaire by now!

If only I would have put more thought into this site of stupidity, I could be planning my early retirement. But nnooooo, I used it for for my own amusement and selfish therapeutic needs....dammit.

I have been listed at for about 2 months now. On any given day, I receive anywhere from 15 to 25 e-mail alerts letting me know that some one out there has added me as a friend! Now, just to do a little math here; 20 new friends a day X 60 days = 1200 wonderful, kind, caring, fellow blog people, who would gladly be clickin ads and buyin blog spaces to secure the financial future for my kids. Hey, college ain't cheap!

Well since I screwed all that up, I have come up with some other ways for me and all my new friends to come together and form long lasting, meaningful relationships;

My yard is a mess. I figure 20 to 30 of my new buds would be happy to help me rake up all these damn leaves from my neighbors tree. If we get done early enough, maybe we could cut down the freakin thing.

My house could use a fresh coat of paint. If I could get about 30 to 40 friends to lend a hand, we could have my little shoebox lookin good in about an hour. A small sacrafice for such valuable comradery

I really need a vacation. Maybe like 2 weeks in the Bahamas. So, I'll need about 15 of the most patient, kindest, caring friends to watch my two little monsters while I'm away. Don't worry, I'll bring you back a souvenir ashtray, or one of those coconut monkeys.

I may, or may not, be moving soon. I don't know. But the true friendship test is who shows up on moving day. I figure if 50 of you can either bring your pick-up or borrow daddys', you could help drag all my crap cross town. Then I won't need to rent a u-haul.

Since I don't make any money posting, I'm a little short this week. So when we go to dinner, I'm gonna need a solid from my homies. A true-blue doesn't mind pickin up the tab once in a while. Don't panic, I'll get the tip. (But since it's on you, I'm gettin dessert.)

I'm really looking forward to spending quality time with all my new friends.

Thanks in advance, -d

If you need my help I'm at


VE said...

Since your obviously too busy to go to the Bahamas, I'd be glad to take your vaction for you. I'll even send back pictures showing the fun you could have had. I'll also send you trinkets and post cards.

Anonymous said...

LOL Funny! I'm new to Blog Catalog...but, I don't think I will befriend you 'til all the yard work is done!

KayFour said...

This is a great idea... now I know what to do with all my friends. It seemed a waste to just have them hanging out at my blog.

damonm55 said...

A good friend would also throw a huge party, and invite all of us to drink their rum and eat their doritos!

Sarabeth said...

Good ideas.

Blog Hopping-HP

Zoe's Dad said...

So give me a call when you're moving. I think I'm busy that weekend but you can call anyway.

momeen said...

Good idea for all my friend

threio said...

Manual labor and No Beer! I don't think so Friend! You need to up the anty if I am going to bend over and expose Fruit of the Loom waistband to 40 people!

Maureen said...

Oh, crap... you mean when I become someone's friend, I actually have to CARE about them? They are real people and not just a number on my tally of successful life scorecard?

That's just too much commitment on my part.

Still, (yes still!) Blog Hoppin'

Momo Fali said...

I'd love to help, but I have to wash my hair.

Diesel said...

Yeah, there are "friends" and there are friends -- the difference being that the latter will help you paint a house.

A ladder would help too, come to think of it.

Anonymous said...

ok whats my timing?